Hello. This isn’t really a proper post. I just thought I’d better do something to illustrate that I have not been eviscerated or drowned. It’s the blog equivalent of Alan Partridge giving directions to Heston Services on Radio 4, just so you know it’s not ‘dead air’. (By the way, Heston Services can be found between junctions 2 and 3 on the M4. Customers can enjoy a children’s playground, Costa Coffee and paying fifteen fucking quid for a packet of Quavers in WH Smith.)

So listen, I’ve been really busy, yeah? But I’m not about to give up on ‘Past It’ (as it is not known to media cunts or anyone else), and am hoping that at some point, my life will settle down into some sort of routine that allows me to get something written more than once every three months. I’m still not happy with the layout either, so I’m going to be buggering about with it over the next couple of days.

The other problem I’ve got is that I still can’t upload images to the blog. And this is a problem, because you’re all thick fuckers that only look at websites with lots of pictures. The person I was hoping would sort this out for me is currently not responding to my emails. Perhaps he is on holiday. Or perhaps he is wondering why he agreed to host a website in exchange for some silver foil and two buttons. Who knows? It is a bit frustrating though, as I’ve got a couple of things ready to go and would like to write about Red Dead Redemption at some point. But no doubt it’ll get sorted out eventually.

In the meantime, I hope you’re all enjoying your summer so far. Turn that sausage over, it’s burning. And if you’re a slightly mental man, try not to shoot anyone. We’ve had quite enough of that this year, thank you. And if you work in television news, kill yourself. That will be all.